I think I just needed some time to remember the important things in life. But I’m back and ready to kick some butt!
I’ve been doing c25k. I started on Monday. I’ve also been eating about 1200-1600 calories a day, depending on my activity level. I’m gonna start doing zumba again. I eat a crap ton of peanut butter.
These are my stories.
today-is-where-your-book-begins:
GPOY
(they’re lyrics to a song DON’T TRIP OUT)
BAHAHA I love you. so much.
I think I’ve tried every single approach of tackling my weight. I’ve attempted purging. I’ve attempted restrictive eating - low cal, low carb, no cals, no carbs. I’ve attempted overexercising and overeating. I’ve attempted not exercising at all and barely eating anything. I’ve tried literally more diets than I can count, 9 times out of 10 being an unhealthy diet lasting anywhere from two days to a week.
The ONLY time I effectively lose a large amount of weight was when I was overexercising and not eating enough and I was not able to maintain that….. obviously.
I’ve noticed I’ve only come about this from a physical perspective. It’s always been calories in, calories out. Calories burned, calories saved. Pounds lost, pounds gained back, pounds that simply won’t come off. I think I’ve been too scared to approach this from a deeply personal and psychological perspective: I have food issues and it hurts and I do not want to deal with it. My whole life I’ve thought, if I could get my weight under control, OF COURSE my mind would follow. But as soon as I let a couple bad things pass my lips last year, I went berserk and gained EVERY SINGLE POUND but two back. Now that I’ve effectively lost 20 again (ugh that feels SO FREAKING GOOD to say!), I think it’s time to dig deeper.
My problem isn’t that I’m lazy. It’s not the food. For some reason, this is how my mind thinks: “I’ve messed up already, so why bother? Let me finish these three cheeseburgers and then I’ll start my diet next month.”
NOT okay.
I think I’m going to try intuitive eating. No more counting calories or carbs or fat or sodium. Just wholesome, healthy food and sweaty, laborious exercise. And if in two weeks, I lose the recommended 4 pounds or anything close to it, I’ve found something I can stick with.
Here’s my thing: when I don’t think about dieting or losing weight, I intuitively eat. I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full and my hunger cues are so much more evident.
When I know I’m about to diet, I eat everything in sight in preparation, kind of like I’m going into hibernation (also NOT okay).
As cliched as this is, no more counting calories. No more diets revolved around numbers. I’m getting down to the basics. Eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full. Water, water, water, and……. the occasional diet coke. I’m only human.
I’ve realized that YES I can eat that cookie and not keel over and die….. but do I really WANT to? If yes, I’ll eat it. If no, I’ll go get some fruit.
Usually when I come home, I want cookies and ice cream and snacks and I bake stuff…. today I came home and ate an apple.
I’m excited guys. I think I’ve gotten to the root of my problem.
ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Have eaten crap for the past three days.
When I’m anticipating my period, I allow myself a couple free days until it shows up. It still hasn’t and if I continue like this, a couple of days will turn into two weeks.
Gonna suck it up…. back to the grind tomorrow.
Also beginning pop pilates tomorrow, and I’m gonna try it with my best friend! Should be fun.
(I’m also under 200 - 199.2 - as of three days ago but GOD KNOWS I’m bloated atm so I’m not gonna weigh myself for a good 1-2 weeks….)
I should REALLY work out tomorrow. and I REALLLLLLYYYYY don’t wanna.
MAKE ROOM FOR THE THINGS YOU LOVE!
I ate buffalo wild wings tonight. And while I probably should’ve worked out, I stayed under 1500 calories. And I enjoyed myself.
Tomorrow, I got a chocolate bar and sunchips in my intake and stayed under my carb and calorie goal and went over in protein.
75% good > 100% bad, progress over perfection
If I ever gave up chocolate I would LITERALLY go cray cray.
managed to eat veggies and fruits today…. AND snuck in pizza AND buffalo wild wings for UNDER 1400 CALORIES
I’m a freaking champ
but I’m hungry so I’m gonna go eat and workout to keep my net at around 1200 calories
dinner in 2 and a half hours…. i’m counting down the time
ready to tackle january…. new year, new goals…. I will accomplish what I’ve always wanted to accomplish THIS year.
monday: insanity fit test
tuesday: 25 minutes elliptical intervals
today: 30 minutes hills elliptical intervals + 10 minutes tone it up stretch vid
in chocolate
woeisme #periodproblems
i usually despise diets and i’m gonna do more research on it
if it includes an “intro” phase that promises to make you drop 10 pounds, I’ll probably skip it because i have no water weight to lose right now anyway….
i think it will be good for me. i like the idea of eating unlimited quantities of food (within reason) and not counting calories and not destroying my metabolism and being able to workout without having to pass out and not taking five hour naps a day
i’ve been really unhealthy lately y’all. for the sake of dropping weight…. but that ends now
ps. i have a party to go to tomorrow but I’ll probably just eat a little bit of pasta and drink so diet coke… I have a friend eating healthy with me who’s going so it may be a bit easier. prayer has definitely been working but I know my period’s coming soon so I gotta watch out for that…. I’m eating errythang in sight!
w/ my best fraaannnn
forgot how much I love zumba. haven’t done it in a while, so it SERIOUSLY made me sweat
Jillian Michaels Yelling (various audio clips from The Biggest Loser)
Please tell me where I can download this.
this just HAD to be on my blog.
this is absolutely fantastic
but then my best friend asked if I wanted to zumba
HECK YEAH I wanna zumba!
also, only ate saltines and lo mein @ a chinese restaurant
had no appetite at all \m/
also, I’ve had an epiphany…..
I kind of don’t want to be 130 pounds, or even 140. Of course I don’t know what I’ll look like then, but I think I look fabulous now, just with a little extra padding. I want muscle, but I also want to be soft and curvy and “womanly”. I think my perfect weight is going to be around 145-150. That’s about the heaviest “healthy” weight for my BMI.
I’m starting to realize…. I love my curves. I love the curve of my hips. I love the curve of my gigantic butt. I love my thighs. I’m ready to accept my body and realize that what I’m doing should be natural. Nurturing, feeding my body the right things, treating it sometimes, pushing myself with workouts and rewarding myself with a rest day or two a week.
Honestly, I’ve only said this sincerely one other time in my life, and definitely not while at this weight, but….. I LOVE my body and all the things it does for me. How it hasn’t given up on me, through thick and thin. I’ve yo-yo dieted, I’ve put it through weeks of 400-500 calorie restrictive dieting, put it through weeks of fasting, thrown up on occasion on purpose, overexercised, and sometimes gone way too long without exercise. And through ALL of that, my body has stuck with me. I owe myself this. To get healthy and relate healthy eating with normalcy, not a burden. To relate exercise to my everyday routine, not an annoyance that I “have” to do. I’m only this young once.
Your body has limits. Go find them.
30 minutes of sporadic intervals, nothing specific
a little bit of my workout playlist:
little lion man - mumford and sons
et - katy perry
bad - the cab
let’s go - cartel
til i collapse - eminem
good = under 1400 calories and a substantial workout
that feels good to say
uh yeah. nuff said
i also think i’m gonna start c25k. like tomorrow. i just need an ipod armband.
now for din-din! I also stayed around ~1300 calories today! Even with the cheesecake…. ;)
I’m about to go Insanity it up
and completely puke my lungs up
I don’t think I can work out. My coughing is getting SO bad. I need to go to the doctor.
