was honestly gonna not workout out today

but then my best friend asked if I wanted to zumba

HECK YEAH I wanna zumba!

also, only ate saltines and lo mein @ a chinese restaurant

had no appetite at all \m/

also, I’ve had an epiphany…..

I kind of don’t want to be 130 pounds, or even 140. Of course I don’t know what I’ll look like then, but I think I look fabulous now, just with a little extra padding. I want muscle, but I also want to be soft and curvy and “womanly”. I think my perfect weight is going to be around 145-150. That’s about the heaviest “healthy” weight for my BMI.

I’m starting to realize…. I love my curves. I love the curve of my hips. I love the curve of my gigantic butt. I love my thighs. I’m ready to accept my body and realize that what I’m doing should be natural. Nurturing, feeding my body the right things, treating it sometimes, pushing myself with workouts and rewarding myself with a rest day or two a week.

Honestly, I’ve only said this sincerely one other time in my life, and definitely not while at this weight, but….. I LOVE my body and all the things it does for me. How it hasn’t given up on me, through thick and thin. I’ve yo-yo dieted, I’ve put it through weeks of 400-500 calorie restrictive dieting, put it through weeks of fasting, thrown up on occasion on purpose, overexercised, and sometimes gone way too long without exercise. And through ALL of that, my body has stuck with me. I owe myself this. To get healthy and relate healthy eating with normalcy, not a burden. To relate exercise to my everyday routine, not an annoyance that I “have” to do. I’m only this young once.

Your body has limits. Go find them.